Her Redemption

Bhavya observed the corridor of the St. Peter’s School of Journalism’s ground floor, with a lump of insecurity in her throat. She knew this corridor quite well, for she had been there for almost two months. Still her heart was trying to pull her back to that small town of Kerala, where she had spent all her life except for the last few months. She was scared. Why? Well, she didn’t know the reason, but suddenly she was starting to question her ability, her passion, her talent, her dream.

It started perhaps years ago when she first fell in love… with literature. She had been reading poetry and novels and short-stories and many more since then. She would read something and lose herself in it. She had lived hundreds of lives in those hundreds of different works of fiction. But until last year, she didn’t think about her own life. And now it was making her tremble with fear. At first when her parents asked about her aim, she was clueless. But then she gradually started to feel the passion that she had for literature. Suddenly, she had realized that becoming a writer was her ‘aim-in-life’. From then she fell in deeper love. She experienced the world differently. When her parents would be thinking about the career of their child, she would be lost thinking about what those grey clouds can symbolize in her poem.

But, like in every typical Indian love story, she had to fight against her parents’ wishes to end up where she was now. 

And now, after all those years of passion and love, she was questioning herself if she would really be able to do it; if she could make a living by becoming a writer; and more importantly, if she could make a difference in this world by becoming a writer. She doubted it. Was it too late? She thought it was.

What she didn’t realize was that, the true writer inside her was dying because of this doubt. Her power to make a difference in the world was slowly being eaten up by the parasite of doubt that was beginning to grow in her heart. Her destiny was gradually being pushed to the oblivion by this parasite. Millions of people in this world dream about being something. But not all of them end up succeeding in what they wanted to succeed in. Why? Why all the people who aspire for greatness can’t become great? Why all the people who want to change the world can’t do so? Because, they don’t believe in themselves. All of them want to change the world but only a few of them has the faith that he or she will change the world. Faith can move mountains. And now her faith on herself was fading.

She shouldn’t have come here. She should’ve listened to her parents and pursue a less risky career. She would end up being like millions of people around the world. After all, for what reason does she want to become a writer?

Bhavya was giving her decision a second-thought. She decided to take her day off and walked out of the campus. She didn’t want to go back to her hostel. Instead, she went to the café in front of the school. She sat herself on a table and ordered a cappuccino. It arrived and she drank it. By the time she emptied the cup, she made up her mind. She can’t do this; she can’t become a good writer, so she decided to call her mother and tell her that they, her parents, were right. She shouldn’t have fought against their wishes. 

Another human, just like the millions around the world, was going to throw away her power to change the world. It was only the matter of a call.

Bhavya, ready to throw her power for acquiring greatness, walked towards the counter. She didn’t know what she was going to do; she had no idea. She pulled out her wallet and gave her credit card to the cashier. The cashier took the card and just out of curiosity, took a look at the name.

“Bhavya Thayil.” He looked at the girl and added, “Your name would look awesome on the cover page of a book…”